Stop Fear Driving Your Actions

Sometimes fear drives our actions and we are not even conscious of it as we respond so quickly.

Here are some common examples of this happening to consider. How do you feel about:

• Silence in a conversation/meeting;
• Having nothing planned;
• Missing out on something others are raving about (even though it’s not your thing);
• Seeing notifications come up on your phone;
• Not knowing the answer to something you feel you should know. 

You might say “Those things don’t bother me “ but what do you typically do when these things arise?

For example, in terms of the above examples, do you find yourself:

• Filling that silence;
• Doing an activity instead of having some downtime;
• Saying yes to something that you’d rather not do;
• Checking your phone at times when you shouldn’t (when you’re driving, in a meeting, watching TV, sleeping etc)
• Bluffing, or giving an incomplete answer, rather than saying you don’t know.

If this sounds familiar, then it’s likely that fear is driving your actions.

Why is that?

Emotions drive our behaviours, with our primary focus being our SURVIVAL. This results in us responding in ways to protect ourselves, even if this response does not achieve the best results.

The Consequence

We avoid opportunities, such as :

• Allowing a period of silence to enable ourselves, and others, to think, be creative, process information etc;
• Doing nothing, to rest, reflect and restore, in favour of ‘being busy’, often seen as s badge of honour;
• Saying ‘no’ so we can do what’s right for us – this lessens inner conflict, enables better relationships and improves wellbeing;
• Feeling free and having flexibility (not being a slave to our phones) – this builds our sense of power & control;
• Embracing ‘not knowing’ something as an opportunity to learn, grow and collaborate with others; 

And more.

So if you want to be in the driving seat (and not fear), take control and pause before allowing your emotion to trigger an instant response.

For best results, work on one situation at a time and be consistent. The more you practise, the easier it gets and the better you will feel generally.